Dear reader,
How are you?
Tonight’s story is from Amanda, a veteran journalist based in New York.
She spoke to me a few weeks after the economy started to crumble last year and shortly after she lost her job.
I wanted to publish her story this week because we are nearing the 1-year anniversary of the first COVID-19 death in the U.S.
About a month from now, we’ll also be marking 1-year since the first shut downs — decisions that caused companies to lay off more than 7 million people in a month.
While we are better off now than in April of 2020, the real unemployment rate is still close to 10% as of January.
I’ll take a deeper dive into the numbers for paid subscribers, but tonight, I want Amanda’s story to transport you back to some of the earliest and darkest days of the pandemic.
As time continues to put distance between the onset of the crisis and our present lives, we need stories like Amanda’s to help us remember those early moments. Re-reading her interview for tonight’s post helped me see how much we’ve adapted and endured.
Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your story so early on with me. And thank you all, as always, for reading.
Take care,
Hope
N.B. The U.S. also reached a new grim milestone Monday, when we mourned the 500,000th reported COVID-19 death.
The Washington Post visualized this number in several ways, including a portrayal using a caravan of buses stretching 95 miles long.
Post #6: Amanda, from NY
Before I lost my job due to COVID-19 related shutdowns, I had been looking to pivot to a more creative side of media.
After more than a decade in news, I thought I wanted to expand my creative horizons. I’ve always been an artist so I have a lot of ambition with design that didn’t necessarily get covered in my reporting. I studied graphic design abroad last year and had just moved back to New York in the summer.
I started working as an executive assistant at a law firm while I built my freelance portfolio.
I had only been working a week when I was laid off.
How did they let you go?
On the phone.
What was your initial reaction?
I was surprised because there was still more work for me to do.
He let me go as soon as he heard any office was closing in the area. He didn’t wait until he was told to or forced to close…
It’s all the same — whether it was that day or a few days later. There would be no business, particularly for lawyers given the courts were closed.
I didn’t get severance.
How did you feel?
I was terrified. I felt like I was dropped into the ocean with nothing to float on.
Did you know what to do immediately after?
No. As far as unemployment, I tried to file immediately but I’ve had difficulty.
I filed mid-March and only got one payment of $600 — $600 for six to seven weeks of waiting.
I’ve tried calling but the line is unbelievably busy. I think I called 60 times and that’s less than other people.
What else can you do?
They’re not going to pick up if you’re already certified. You send an email out into a portal and it’s an abyss.
I am in this really uncertain place where I basically have no money. I have savings and of course that allows me to sleep at night, but it’s in a mutual fund and now’s not the time to pull the money out.
Are you living by yourself?
That’s another difficult thing to do. Yes, I am.
I was making $1,100 a week. I have a nice apartment, my rent is about $1,800, it’s pretty good for a 1-bedroom.
Thank God they’re allowing you not to pay for a while. But eventually I’m going to have to write a big check out to them.
I told [my landlord] that they could expect April and May by Mid-May — and I don’t even know if that’s possible. I’m going to have to ask for [another] grace period.
What’s been the most challenging thing for you since mid-March?
Not having money in my pocket. I’ve never eaten so little — I’m really on a poverty diet because I don’t want to see my bank account dip below a certain number where I’m going to go into the red, where I’m going to see an insufficient fee.
I’ve been shopping at Dollar Tree where I can buy crackers and canned goods and tuna for really cheap: You go to Dollar Tree, everything’s a dollar, you spend $60 and you have a lot of bags to take home.
I’m making my own coffee; I’m rationing my milk so I don’t have to go to the supermarket that often for milk. I don’t have the leisure of going to Dunkin’ Donuts.
How do you feel right now a few months in?
The initial panic has subsided. The sense of we’re going through something together has allowed me to put it in perspective, to be a little more grateful for what I do have — grateful that I’m well, that I do have a place to stay.
At the same time, it’s heart-aching to see the numbers of fatalities go up every single day. The loss of life is unfathomable, and the randomness of the infections is really troubling. It’s like the air is toxic.
How do you feel about opening up the economy quickly?
I think that there are certain industries that have to start turning again — manufacturing, food industries. But as far as local retail bars and restaurants, places where people gather, I think it would be unwise, if not completely negligent that they could start up again.
Have you been following the news closely?
I’m obsessed with watching the New York briefings — I watch Mayor Bill de Blasio and Governor Andrew Cuomo every day. I’ve stopped watching the White House briefing because it’s a farce and nauseating and not very useful.
What do you want to see from governments, companies, and the media?
I want to see a way to re-employ people. There should be a fast track. There are people who haven’t been without a job in 20 years. Reassure them they’ll have their exact job back.
How worried are you about the future?
I’m incredibly worried. The scariest thing is the disease itself. So little is known about it. While some people seem to be able to recover, we don’t even know the long-term health implications — particularly for people with pre-existing conditions. Just today they said that there are 12 children who have come down with Kawasaki syndrome which they think is related to coronavirus.
What would you like in your every day?
The isolation is really upsetting. I’m doing app dating and it’s bleak. You can talk to a few guys, but if you don’t meet them they just disappear. It feels like everybody in my life has just vaporized.
I’m stuck in my apartment. It’s like purgatory. Honestly, I really need human connection. The next worst part is not having enough money.
How are you staying positive?
I’m keeping myself occupied with a variety of things. I’m building an online portfolio. I’m doing yoga. I’m also making masks. I’ve sold at least 10 masks so far and am making a new batch. I also have a minor obsession with tarot cards. It’s a mindfulness practice. I’m not joining the occult or anything — tarot is mindfulness.
What will you do after this?
I just need to set my alarm and go to work. That’s what would make me feel normal again.
— Amanda, 35, from New York City, May 5, 2020 4:05pm
Amanda's story stayed with me since reading during original posting for the notes of isolation's toll are resounding. Hope shines brighter in isolation.